Just when I thought I was all set to marry the best man I’d ever met, he made a different proposal—one that sent me straight into the arms of an old-school self-help guide to attracting true love.
Over the course of the next four months, I dug deeper than I ever planned…and found a happily-ever-after I could never, ever have predicted.
The full story of Calling It In is in the process of becoming a published book, and till then, I invite you to enjoy the blog that started it all.
Calling It In: the original blog
Taking a Gamble (Lesson Zero)
In which I explain how I ended up with a self-help book instead of a fiance…but maybe also a fiance?
Expanding Our Capacity to Love and Be Loved (Lesson 1)
Diving in with deep breathing and bathroom wall graffiti
Looking Through Laura’s Eyes (Lesson 2)
Is it a good idea to contact your estranged lover on his birthday? Depends on your perspective…
Honoring Our Need for Others (Lesson 3)
Neediness is fine. Accepting less than 100% is not.
Love for Love’s Sake (Lesson 4)
That time it took me three hours to send a text, plus some foundational affirmations
A Vision of Love Fulfilled (Lesson 5)
I’m put the writing on the wall: I want to be a wife (even if that feels small)
The Nature of a Soul Connection (Lesson 6)
That time a helping verb made me weep
Making the Space for Love (Lesson 7)
Clean closet, clear heart
Allowing Loss (Lesson 8)
No alcohol, no drugs, not even Netflix: How to navigate pain without numbing
Letting Go of the Past (Lesson 9)
Facing fears with forgiveness—and a run-on sentence, plus a little going rogue
Releasing Toxic Ties (Lesson 10)
Flashback to how I learned the hard way about boundaries and self-love, along with a very important present-tense truth
Renegotiating Old Agreements (Lesson 11)
In which I assert my needs and change the game (in my head, anyway)
Sacred Wounds (Lesson 12)
Hate the phrase, love the process—and yes, #metoo, and probably also you
Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall (Lesson 13)
What you believe is what you see…so too bad I’m still settling for less.
Relinquishing Unconscious Patterns (Lesson 14)
Halfway through a four-month separation, I begin to prioritize me
Early Childhood Woundings (Lesson 15)
In Week 3, shit gets real. Get ready for roots to be revealed!
Core Beliefs and Other Distortions of Reality (Lesson 16)
There’s no way around it: Christa Thompson’s mom was a bitch
Transforming an Identity (Lesson 17)
The life-changing magic of kindness and conversation
Healing the Hungry Heart (Lesson 18)
Sometimes staying away is the best way to show up—plus a pledge to give away what I want to keep
Reclaiming the Disowned Self (Lesson 19)
What it looks like when you embrace your imperfections (and limited artistic ability)
Individuation and the Ties That Bind (Lesson 20)
That time I had fourteen intensely emotional conversations in ninety minutes
Release Ceremony (Lesson 21)
A well-earned laundry list of letting go (aka thank god Week 3 is over)
Visioning (Lesson 22)
Visioning is not the same as visualization—also, it is awesome, and possibly the most effective tactic in this entire process
Setting an Intention (Lesson 23)
In which I agree to go on a date even though I am unsure and afraid
Clarifying Your Soul’s Purpose (Lesson 24)
The paradoxical benefits of true partnership, plus how a first date led to inbox zero
Receiving Inner Guidance (Lesson 25)
How I learned to stop ignoring my intuition (and my misery)—and see my estranged partner’s family
Establishing Personal Integrity (Lesson 26)
I’ve been lying to myself, and the truth is coming out
The Practice of Prayer and Meditation (Lesson 27)
The sweetness of surrender…and the calm before the storm
Making Wise Choices (Lesson 28)
That time my estranged partner and I were ten feet away from each other for five agonizing hours
On Making Commitments (Lesson 29)
In the wake of an awful evening, I get a grip on reality—and clear on what counts
A Case for Selfishness (Lesson 30)
Flashback to the time I stalked a Blockbuster employee, and an ode to interdependence
The Art of Receiving (Lesson 31)
In which I consider quitting, recount a key beginning, and decide to ask for more
Body Acceptance and a Woman’s Sense of Self-Esteem (Lesson 32)
Sometimes instead of following the rules you just need to dance around naked to Taylor Swift
On Sexual Healing (Lesson 33)
Healthy sex is the stuff of miracles—but do I really have to remember?
On Developing Emotional Literacy (Lesson 34)
Feelings can be tricky to label, much less admit. But with the help of a list and a Rumi poem, the shadows are less scary
Cultivating Solitude (Lesson 35)
Loneliness and solitude are not the same thing—and one can cure the other (plus an homage to a Richard Linklater film)
Generosity – The Essential Ingredient (Lesson 36)
If I can give love to a president I don’t respect, I can love anyone, no matter what
On Being Happy (Lesson 37)
Why it’s not true that we find love when we’re not looking for it (and how gratitude plays a miraculous part)
Overthrowing the Bogeyman (Lesson 38)
In which my greatest fear writes me a letter, and I respond like a champ
Being at Cause (Lesson 39)
Why blaming is no bueno, even when your estranged partner ignores you on an important day—and how to be responsible without being wrong
Living the Questions (Lesson 40)
That time I ugly cried in front of my therapist because she wanted to help me get closure and I insisted on uncertainty
Listening With An Open Heart (Lesson 41)
My two best tricks for listening well (and loving better)
On Speaking Up (Lesson 42)
In which I resort to a bulleted list about communication because after forty-two consecutive days I am at a loss for words (plus a welcome reconnection and a time-sensitive declaration)
The Enchanted Life (Lesson 43)
As the final week of this process begins, I finally feel happiness again, and my greasy hair becomes a blessing
Let Love Live Your Life (Lesson 44)
All we need is already within, be the person you want to find, and other cliched but accurate ideas—and how my heart simultaneously shattered in two separate ways
From “Me” to “We” (Lesson 45)
On the eve of Thanksgiving, I discover the definition of a functional family
Seventy Times Seven: The Challenge of Forgiveness (Lesson 46)
That time I got hasty, skipped the homework, and borrowed wisdom from someone else’s spirit guides
On Giving Thanks (Lesson 47)
An explanation of why gratitude is the most powerful tool in the kit—and a flashback to how it miraculously rescued me from an abusive relationship—plus an effusive expression of present-day appreciation
On Being a “Yes” to Love (Lesson 48)
In the penultimate lesson, I am getting fed up—but also fulfilled, because I recommit to staying open, and to taking the biggest risk.
Holding the High Watch (Lesson 49)
At long last, I make “The List”—and am humbled by a cup of milk.
Postscript (Lesson Infinity)
Because the end is never the end.