So, a hawk visited me the other day.
Well. It didn’t really come to visit ME.
It just happened to land on my fire escape with its prey.
Or maybe its prey was already on my fire escape, which is why the hawk came to visit?
In any case, I was on the phone and pacing around my apartment when I looked out the window and noticed a flurry of feathers.
There was a hawk on my fire escape, and it was sitting on a pigeon.
I exclaimed to my friend on the phone, but sometimes words aren’t sufficient.
I told her I had to hang up so I could take some video.
For the next hour and a half, I was riveted to my windows.
Things got gruesome, but I couldn’t stop watching.
At first I was horrified.
I watched the hawk take the pigeon’s little orange foot in its beak, rip it off its little leg, and swallow it whole.
Then the hawk used the gaping leg cavity as an entry point to peck into rest of the pigeon’s flesh.
A few times I walked away from the window in revulsion, but I kept coming right back.
My horror shifted to fascination.
By the time I noticed grains of rice spilling out of the pigeon’s stomach, I felt like I was in a science lab.
The hawk was thorough and unapologetic.
Some people expressed pity for the pigeon when I told them what happened.
I understand that—my own initial impulse was to feel bad.
But the thing is, everyone’s gotta eat.
And the hawk seemed neither vicious nor apologetic.
What the hawk was, was thorough.
It had a purpose, and it attended to that purpose.
In no way was the hawk deterred—not by the wind, not by the rain, and certainly not by my presence.
Eventually, the hawk left.
Nearly ninety minutes after its arrival, the hawk was ready to go.
I witnessed its departure.
The hawk did not leave much left.
After the hawk flew away, I warily approached my now-empty fire escape.
I was worried I would I would find a mess.
And I did—mostly feathers, though. Not much else.
I was both grossed out and impressed.
I don’t know what the moral is to this story.
After spending my afternoon immersed in hawk observation, I knew I would share about the experience for #thankyouthursday.
But I didn’t know what to say, or how watching a hunter devour prey relates to gratitude.
I still don’t.
But here are a few ideas. Maybe one will be useful to you:
—Nature is neither kind nor brutal. It just is.
—If I hadn’t been looking at exactly the right time, I would have missed the whole scene.
—Birds are definitely modern-day dinosaurs. The past never fully goes away.
—I can choose to feel sorry for the pigeon or to be proud of the hawk. Or both. (Or neither.)
I do know I am grateful.
As for my personal takeaways, I am grateful I had the ability to stop everything I was doing and watch my very own real-life nature channel for a long time with no negative consequences.
I am also grateful the hawk did not try and peck through through the glass of my window. (I’m pretty sure it could have done so successfully.)
And I am grateful that, although the actual experience belonged to me alone, I still get to share it with a lot of other people. Thanks, Internet. You can be really cool.
Love > fear,
